Once
by Soul-Killer of the Stars
Summary: FINISHED! Ending very shocking, quite so m' friends! You mite hate meh, but..the end is nigh aka HERE NOW! I hope yah dont hate it toooo much.. hmm
1. Lie

**Once**

So…what's this now? Aelgifu has brought forth another sucky fanfic for ya, but this is a bit different than the others. Here we've got one told from the POV of yes, Cortez. Whoa, tis true indeed me kiddies, hehe. A story told by a bird…whoo…- wipes sweat from face- prepare yourself… for agony…angst…awfulness…and ravens.

**Disclaimer**: No, no, Helena does not own the Gorillaz (or Cortez), _or_ that poem _The Raven_ by Edgar Allen Poe. R n R por favor. Rated for nightmares/mental torture/cussing. Fun huh?

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_Lie _

You know me as Cortez, pet of a said Murdoc Niccals. You know me by my earsplitting screech, my odd red eyes. My master. But he is no more. I am no more. They are no more. It is all nevermore.

The paradise I knew turned to Hell the day he came. No, not my Murdoc. Him. He returned, the one thought to be dead for so long. He came, I was the only one who saw him. Saw the dark cape flowing on the ground, saw the distasteful top hat. Birds have feelings, birds have hearts. Mine was beating out of my chest.

There was no way this could be. Not the man that had made my master the haunted bastard he was. Not the man that had killed himself in front of his sons' eyes. He was _dead_, or was he?

**Geez, I feel so original. What a great ending. Wah. I crave criticism, so bring it on. More on the way. You're probably wondering what the hell's wrong with this freaked out bird, but something sure is, 'm tellin' ya. You'll have to be patient and find out….**

_**Once upon a prison dreary… **_


	2. No

Here we go! (get the cool, get the cool shoeshine!) oh eh sorry. I meant, here we go wif chapter 2 of this nightmarish, spine tingling story. Wow, the drama. –rolls eyes- Warning- Agony & an OC or two appears in this chapter…ohhhh the fright!

Disclaimer- me doesn't own the Christmas Carol line that the birdie sayz about dreadful apparitions and all, Charles Dickens does.

_No_

In my state I didn't know what to think. Dead man reappears of a sudden, walks right by me, and what do I do? I squall in terror. The almighty bird of the Niccals cries with fear at the mere sight of a ghost. We saw them every day, and yet I was scared.

Yes, there was Jacob C. Niccals, as he stood there in front of my master's Winnebago. He took it all in, as though it were the most disgusting, revolting thing he had ever seen. And yet, he was the one who'd taught my Murdoc to be so _ slovenly._.

"What is it now?" a familiar voice growled. 'Twas him, irritated by my yells.

The ghost disappeared.

"If that's you, bird, I'll wring your scrawny neck and eat you for dinner. You bet I will!" Lovely man.

"HA! It _was_ you. Damn it. Shut the hell up!" With this, a hellacious sock was smashed into my beak and that was that.

Damn it couldn't' have been more right. Murdoc obviously hadn't seen his long-dead father come back, and hadn't heard me cry either. DAMN IT!

"Hey, Cortez-san, are you alright?" Noodle. Ah, Noodle. Sweet, wonderful Noodle, Noodle that didn't put socks of Satan in my mouth and didn't tell me to shut up. Perfect girl.

"Bwak! No! Bwak!" I wailed.

"What is wrong, beautiful bird. Come to me!" I landed gently on her delicate wrist. She gazed deep into me, trying to read the horror I was concealing. "What have you seen?" Some comforting words of Japanese were murmured.

I didn't know enough words to tell her. "He…awk…came," I tried. "He came."

"Who he, Cortez? Dear bird. You are shaking. Murdoc-san, he has not given you proper care. I take you for a while."

_NO! _ The thought screamed in my mind. NO! What if he came back? Oh, God. No. NO NO NO!

_Come to me, raven…_

"Rang, mate, I swear…if you don't hurry up…" Jake growled, vexed by his mate's procrastination.

"Comink, comink, gimme a sec fucker!" was Jake's answer.

Hurridly Rang stuffed his secret stash in the drawer. "'M on mah way," he rumbled. A minute later he began to smile eerily and giggle like a bloody idiot.

"Oh no, don't tell me, no…"

_Come to me._

That voice! Oh spirits of Satan and God and whoever, I beg of you, save me from that voice! Spare the girl, spare us! I_ beg you_.

_Raven._

NO!

_I will take you where you have never been. _

NEVER! Dreadful apparition, why do you haunt me so?

_I want it. _

IT? What is it? I'll give it to you! Just go!

_You know, Raven, you know. _

Right then! What the flip's goin on wif dis? What does Jacob mean by "you know, Raven, you know?" What's it? Where'd the two idiot Ocs come from? EEK! REVIEW ! Bubbye.


	3. Never

Wow, uh, I didn't think any one really cared anymore, but then came thee, **Starlight's Delight!** Fanks a lot, and yeah, I don't really get what's going on either, but here's more for all of ya!

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_Never_

The last instructions given to me by that godforsaken spirit were to figure out what he wanted by sunset. I was about ready to give up on life, to impale myself on my Murdoc's sword of Satan and be done with the torment that was killing me anyway. But for him, I'd do it. For my Murdoc, to whom I promised my eternal devotion and loyalty, I would remain alive and solve this eerie mystery.

&&&&&&

**Back to OCs! **

"Aww you're high again. I know it. Christ. Someone murder me _now._ I should be possessed rather than live with you!" Jake raved, furious. For the ten months they'd lived together Rang (who'd begun to call himself Tadpole, a name he'd obviously thought up whilst strung out on his drugs), seemed fond of sniffing his cocaine and not much else. Jake was sick of it, ready to evacuate the addicted, crazy man he called his roommate. He'd sorted out many ways to get rid of Rang, such as feeding him to the zombie gorillas ruling the trees next door. _Hehe. Roommates suck so bad_, Jake thought, reaching for an army knife. _Life sucks so bad_,_ and that's why I'll bid it all goodbye_! Laughing to anyone who could hear, he took one last look at the room around him and slit his throat.

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Well, if I were a dead man what would **I** want? Err, dead bird, I mean. I would want Murdoc and nothing else. The one who saved me from the realm of that prison, later giving a life in Raven heaven.

Was that what he wanted? His son. Ohhhhhh God. Oh God. Oh no. No. This wasn't happening to me! But everything made sense. Jacob Niccals wanted to take his son with him to Hell. Yes…it was so utterly clear.

But the only thing I wanted now was to wake up from this nightmare.

**SUNSET**

_Bird. _

"I know. Why you're here that is. And I want you to be aware of the fact that you'll never get him! Never!"

_Never? We'll see about that._

"THERE IS NO YOU! There is only me! LEAVE US ALONE! YOU ARE THE PRODUCT OF A BRAIN FEVER AND NOTHING ELSE!"

_That so, Raven? **This** is quite real, if I'm not mistaken_.

Jacob Niccals took hold of an unsuspecting Noodle, her cute face watching me with confusion. He had her in his clutches and threw her against the wall, causing her to lose consciousness.

(**AN**: **Consciousness is bloody hard 2 spell.) **

Talk about the straw that broke the camel's back. Fluffing up my ashy feathers, I gave a war cry and flew upon him. I was out to kill. Even if he was dead already.

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end. Mwuahahahahhaahaha. Yesh. End. Evil.. can u kill the undead? Hm. Not sure but methinks Cortez is so angry he coud kill anything.


	4. Birds of a Feather

Chapter 4. Very, very tired now. Not sure how this will turn out—

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_Birds of a Feather…_

Murdering the undead is unpleasant to say the least. It's entirely impossible, one of those things you do only in the most fiery of dreams. Likely this was no dream. Right, it was my nightmare.

How surprising no one cared of the fury unravelled there in that parking lot. I pecked, I clawed, I tore. Nothing killed him. And why? HE WAS DEAD!

But anger made me fight.

_Raven! I command you! Release me, and I'll help the girl!_

"Why should I trust you!"

_Do you trust Murdoc?_

"With my life!"

_Very well then. Your efforts are in vain, so I would save your needed energy._

"I don't take advice from zombies."

_Bring me to my son! _

Red eyes blazing. Sending the cry of alarm. My livid lust for him to burn in the lowest depths of hell.

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Rang walks in that night, higher than a Georgia pine, and what does he find? He finds his roomate lifeless on the floor in a pool of dark blood.

What does he do? He twitches. He snorkles. He smacks himself. He's OD'd and collapses.

The next morning, awaking to a sickly smell. Jake is already rotting. "What?" Rang growled, now aware something was up.

"Jake? Jake, I know you're…playing…right 'Kay wait, no pulse. Oops…you're, like, dead, man. Sorry, dude. That totally _sucks_."

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Summon the stars and tear down the heavens, anything to wake up. Murdoc, yes, MINE, he heard us rambling on. He bustled out of the Winne, unaware and unknowing.

"Cortez-the-Raven! _What in bloody hell are you doing!_"

"Kekekekekekekeek!"

"Come, boy. What--- has another zombie gotten loose? Calm down then, you never get this upset!"

**If you knew, my only, if you knew**. The thought.

"HOLY SHIT! DAD!"

"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKKEEKEKEKEKKEEKKEKEKEKEK!"

_Thank you, Cortez-the-Raven. I appreciate your efforts!_

The spirit extended his misty hand, smiling encouragingly at Murdoc.

_Come with me. My son_.

My Murdoc gave a shriek of utter horror and sprawled backwards.

"Minemineminemineminemine!" The words poured out, mineminemine, those which I had never spoken before. I say 'mine' to the dead man, and he WILL not take him away. Then again, this is Jacob Niccals. He doesn't play by the rules.

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wOOtness. Murdoc's fully up to par now! Cwapp! Wots he gonna do and this bothersome little undead fellow, shall he surrender Muds to his beloved Cortez or will everyone's favourite bassist retire to a life in Hell? –snickers- you'll hafta wait! reviews?


	5. Through the Storm Shall Weather

Chapter 5, no more have I to say

**Starlight's Delight**- thanks. I don't rightly know what a NIN is, but I like that statement.

_Through the Storm shall Weather_

Right, so Rang kind of had to do something about the situation in the living room. Jake's corpse wasn't gonna "RIP" there, nuhhuh! Not if he had anything to say about it! And trust the Sacred Cow, he did.

However, idiot Rang was set with only two simple choices. Call wailing hysterically into the phone that his roommate committed suicide, or go next door and say, "Hey can I bury this dude in your graveyard?"

He chose the latter. Ignoring the creepy gorillas manning the trees but being just careful enough to drag Jake's body through the tainted soil, Rang made his way to the door and rapped loudly.

An ape-like man answered. He was the fattest guy Rang ever saw. "Er, can I help you?"

"Yeah my friend over here, he's done the last tango in Paris. He gotta be put somewhere. You have a bury place, right? Well, ca' I use it?"

"Erpp…who are you?"

"Me? 'm Rang. My buddy is Jake. I think he cut his throat or something. Dunno. He's been awful mad at me, these past few weeks."

"I-I guess you could leave your friend over here, um, but you'll haf to go thru the carpark, I'd be careful, Muds can be a little touchy sometimes, and that bird'll rip your eyes out…"

"THANKS!" Rang waved at the bulldog of a fellow (**AN: that wos no insult 2 bulldogs, whom I happen 2 lerve greatly! bulldogs is deh bes'! woot.)** and dashed off to the carpark.

You can only imagine what he saw there. Indeed! A despairingly poor lot of a terrified Goth man & his insane raven, along with a vaguely visible outline of another "dude," as Rang would say. Then in the corner, an unconscious Asian girl.

"Hey," he said, "why is there a party in herre I didnt know about?"

_Who are you!_ Jacob Niccals roared in his silent spirit-y way.

The bird kekked & sprung into attack mode again. Cortez-the-Raven loathed intruders.

"Whoa birdie chill ouuutttttt!" Rang cried, backing into the wall.

**To Cortez POV again—**

He was so unbearably stupid. Of all the people I'd even known, Stu-Pot the muppet was the dumbest. Well, the man (or can I even call him_ that_?) in front of me beat him to any extent. Picked a good time to show up, he did. Bugger.

Noodle awoke. Praise the Dark Lord, she awoke. Had it not been now, that would've been better but I was still overjoyed. (Despite the fact I had a likely high complete idiot in front of me and a very obnoxious spirit asking Lucifer for my destruction.)

"MURDOC-SAN WHAT IS GOING ON!"

"Noodle-luv its okay, I promise. It's gonna be okay. You had a bit of a fall, no worries about whot's goin on in here, I'll protect you. I promise."

How familiar was that? The sweet nothing I whispered in his ear since this whole hell began.

"Who is this!" she wailed.

"Me, 'm Rang I jus' need to dispose o' this body, mmhmm," the idiot slurred.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Noodle squeaked when she saw the rotting carcass.

Now I'll give you _three guesses_ as to who chose to appear at this moment. Here's a hint, I loathe him for his stupidity. (**AN: I don't really think 2D is stupid! I swear! I love my D-D! This is just a story and Cortez is Murdoc's pet and we all know what the Niccals thinks of our Stu-Pot.) **

Yes. Dullard.

"Somefink goin'on I needta know about?"

"GET OUT OF HERE FACE-Ache! Go cry over some puppy-love movie; we really don't need your like round here. Things are bad enough!" my Murdoc bellowed.

Mmm.

"Tha' ghost guy, he's gettin' mad," Rang interuppted.

Haha, Jacob was floating irritably off to the side, his arms crossed.

_Bird! The dimwit is correct. I am quite displeased._

"Shut **the hell** up DAD! GAAAAAAH!" Before anyone could stop him, my Murdoc who belonged to me and no one else went after his dad with a knife. "I'll kill you again and again till you finally BURN in HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!"

"Does anyone know where the cheese is?" 2D whimpered.

riiggghhttt… everyone is so angry… wow so much attackin'.. . the biggest question of all tho WHY DOES 2D WANT CHEESE!


	6. The Cheesy Factor

Chapter 6. The huge cheese question is answered herein! woot. **2-D**, thanks for your review, and you're welcome too!

_The Cheesy Factor_

Cheese! Cheese! CHEESE!

"I wou' really like sum cheese, do' anyone fink they know where tis?"

_Raven this freaky little cheese-man is wasting our valuable time. _

"Shut up," I hissed to Jacob. "We'll have to treat him like the wretched seven year old he is and maybe he'll go away."

_I pray you are correct._

"BRAINACHE LEAVE RIGHT NOW CAN YOU NOT SEE WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING GAHHH! No one cares about your fucking cheese!" my Murdoc informed him rudely.

"Cheese is important," Rang the Thickhead put in. "It's a fact of life."

"Y-y-ou shoul' be a little nicer to 2D-san. I-I will help him find some cheese. I, I am quite disturbed by whatever is happening here, so I think I shall leave it to you all. Come 2D-san. Let's go get that cheese." Noodle sighed. Devil, I loved her so sometimes. Sweet peacemaking thing she was. And 2D was almost cute, he was that excited to get the cheese.

_Finally! I thank you, raven._

"You're not welcome."

_How impolite you are._

"I don't know your name, I don't wanna know it either. But what I do want is fer you to go bury your mate and let us be, as we have a few issues to resolve," Murdoc was trying to be calm. What with the cheese calamity and all I'd completely forgotten about Rang's deal. He was in our way.

"Whur's the burry place? I dunno."

_"In back. Walk outta here, and it's right in behind._" Mm, twas frustration now. Dear Muds.

"Aww, thanks mate."

_"No problem!_"

Rang left to dispose of the poor suicide victim, at last. Now we were alone.

"Okay. It's time for this crap to end. My sanity's crumbling and I insist you tell me why you're here, Dad."

_The bird knows, son. _

"The bloody bird doesn't talk."

_He doesn't? We've been having a lovely tete-a-tete these past days._

"Cortez?"

"Kah-k-ahg-oackl-he-acol.." Oh God, I had to talk! Help me talk! SOMEONE!

"He what? he What?"

"Wakel-waant-wants-oo-YOU!" Ah, I felt exultant despite the content of news.

"WHAT!"

_I want you, my boy. Hell's a lonely place._

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. This doesn't happen. This is only in movies! What the hell,.. no! I'm not going to Hell.. I mean, I am, but.. not with you!"

_Oh yes you are. _

**MEANWHILE.**

"I still can't find the cheeeeeese!"

oh mY gOD. THE CHEESE IS STILL MISSIN'! Will it eva be found?

and ah perhaps no more until, lets say, 30 reviews? dunno


	7. Time

Turns out the cheese was in a shower. Russ left it in there by accident as he was cleansing himself one day whilst having a snack. 2D decided he wouldn't eat that cheese. Poor cheese. Wah.

CHAPTER 7! –twitches and rolls across floor-

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_Time _

"Dad, I am NOT goin' to hell with you and that is final."

_I shan't leave unless I get what I want. _

Murdoc began to whisper a Satanic prayer in Latin.

So did Jacob.

Chills ran up my spine. (**AN: I don't speaketh the Latin, else i would've thought up some scary prayer, mebbe i will in English lata in the chappie, but I cant think of anything to make chills run up thee spine ;signin off;d) **

Together, they said that prayer **(AN: OMG THE FRIGGIN TELLITUBBIES IS ON TV AND SOME LADY IS SINGIN TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahlhjlkjhl –sets self on fire along w/ tellitubbies uh sorry dunno where that came from) **

To the Dark Lord himself and I was positively struck dumbt. Sure, my master muttered them under his breath all the time, but when sent to Satan in unison, it was as though you could feel the words drifting into Hell. Seldom had they seemed so creepy. But perhaps my sanity, too, was crumbling and the slightest thing would freak me out. Mmhmm.

When it appeared they were done:

_The Dark Lord's not answer-ing, _Jacob taunted in a singsong voice. He grinned. Twas an evil grin. More than evil. Twas….of…the…Devil!

"You are not my father."

_Oh my, that's ri-ight!_

"S-Satan?"

_In the flesh._

"W-w-why?" Dear _God._ LUCIFER. I should have known it all along. You cannot defeat the One.

I was sure Murdoc Niccals would be lost to me forever.

_It's time, **Murdie**. Follow me into the darkness._

Satan gave him his hand.

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Dear God is right Cortez! oh now i know i said no updates til 30 reviews but i had to put this out , . . .. NOW no updates til 30 reviews. wauahahhaahaha . –puff of smoke fills air as authoress randomly goes away-


	8. Speed of Sound

Ok, ok hehe you people, forget about the 30 reviews: here is…drum roll please,

THE END!

and …this is Helena…coming to you from –dodges flame- the fiery depths of. Down Under and here is.. chapter 8 –knocks someone unconscious w/ scythe- and.. yeah…

no i dont own Coldplay nor there songs! p.p. oh some review replies, thx

**Murdoca: F**ank you very very much sorry the end may make u sad, wah but it made ME sad.. that's fine lol u dont hafta write** 30** reviews, here it ne way.

**2D's girlfriend**: well, thanks! You don't gotta wait any longer!

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_Speed of Sound_

He took it. There was a flash of blinding light, so blinding. The cornerstones of this old place began to shake. Lights flickered and died. A noise of epic preportions rocked my skull.

The wind, she swirled throughout the room, attacking anything that moved. My feathers blew back and I was tossed against the wall, as _The Dark Lord_ had done to Noodle.

But the despair & agony flocking into my soul fought the pain of brick. I stayed awake.

I watched Him bring my only to final damnation.

There was nothing I could do.

Why was I pulled along with them?

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Rang was done getting rid of Jake. He thought so, til odd stuff started happening and the building was quaking. ''m prolly deaf," he rasped, ear drums trembling from the unearthly sound. "'Taint my business, but I betta go see wot's up.." he decided, dropping the Magic Shovel that came out of nowhere. Off he skipped to the carpark.

Go imagine his stupid shock when things looked perfect inside. Twas as though nothing had even happened.

Except…a beautiful dark raven, his coat silky and perfect, lay still on the floor.

"Birdie?" he quipped, quiet for once. Being an idiot he poked the unmoving creature. Cortez-the-Raven did not stir.

"Whah? I fink..uh-oh." Rang's peanut brain had reached a genuine conclusion- the bird was dead.

He picked him up, kindly, and carried him into the studio, not minding he was trodding on strange property.

In the hall he found the Asian girl from before clutching her chest. She had sprawled herself delicately across the way. She was sobbing.

"It is you. What do you want!"

"Um, sorry miss, but this birdie died."

"Cortez," she whispered dryly. "Give him to me."

The dullard obeyed instantly. Perhaps even the mundane-minded know compassion.

Noodle was carressing the bird tenderly, stroking the cold feathers, remembering. Her love for Murdoc and his moody pet swarmed into her tears.

She got up though, an unknown force, (probably the souls of the newly dead) surrounding the heavy air around them. "I want you to be with me. I need to do something," she told Rang.

He wasn't used to death ceremonies, but she was pretty and he felt strangely moved.

Noodle lead the way outside. The night sky was aglow with happy stars, shocking considering earlier events. Their warmth and light provoked her need even further, though, and as she closed her eyes she held him tight.

She was growing weak; a soft moan escaped her lips. They were leaving her, she knew, going to that next life. To Hell.

"I want to go too. Please.."

_Noodle, luv, don't mourn. _

"Murdoc-san!"

_Kekekekek!_

"Cortez!"

_We'll always love you, Noodle._

She smiled at Rang, at anything, at everyone. She felt better.

Somewhere, far from Kong, a butterfly flapped its wings for the first time.

The End.

WOO! End! –exhales— I thought this would never be done. Well, I thank ya for yo' luv, I am very tired, and very ill. –sneezes, groans— argghh Please write reviews if you want to, I don't care. I hope you all liked the ending and it wosnt too freakish, y'know, all the "take me to Hell" stuff and the butterfly.. whoo. BYE! –flutters wings into the ocean- now that was random wOot !


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